What does it feel like to be a black person? What is a black man's struggles? A black woman's struggles? What do they eat? How many frequencies can they hear? Can they fly? WE TAKE A LOOK AT THEM DOING THINGS AND ASK THEM ABOUT THEIR THINGS.
SOMETHING AWFUL ........COM
It's a true fact 1 in 10 black babies will never turn into an adult and 4 out of 10 black people never once even have a dream about being a doctor. This is god's honest truth. Hi I am a reporter probing the reality and pushing the limits to open your eyes about what it's like to be
We caught up with a black man in a hat on a street and asked him about his situation.
Man: Hi I am Jason I am black!
Us: Hello, Jason. Tell us about your struggles.
Jason: Can't get food cuz the birds took it all into the sky and can't get a job cuz the plants moved to Japan and closed up shop here. Now I'm just getting by on welfare after I got out of prison.
Us: Are you a rapper?
Us: Rap for us.
Jason: I got these problems. I got put in prison. For stealing a baked good.
Us: What baked good did you steal, Jason?
Jason: A kringle. For my babies.
Us: Policemen sent you to prison for that?
Jason: For triple life. I only got out cuz there was too many black men in prison and they needed the space to store worse black men who stole worse things like hubcaps and carbon offsets.
We ran away from JASON because he gave us the EVIL EYE.
The fifth phase of the week is upon us. Shops close, bars open, and we are free from the Bosses once more. But They Who Were Before Time await our tribute...
Hungry? Try looking around for a little something called ASTRONAUT FOOD. Or you can hold out until you get to Pluto and look for some berries... if you want to starve to death!
We'd like to thank Mr. Elba for taking the time to make this possible.
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.