We soon found more blacks like celebrity black Wrestle Simmons who looked less powerful than JASON.
Us: You're wearing a pink sweater.
Wrestle Simmons: And I'm black.
Us: This is totally throwing all of our preconceptions on their ear...
Wrestle Simmons: Welcome to my world now...the Wrestle Simmons of America.
Us: Can we ask you about being black?
Wrestle Simmons: Sure. I don't mind.
Us: Who is that picture in the background?
Wrestle Simmons: I don't know, just a guy with a head shaped like a banana and glowing eyes.
Us: It's a little bit scary.
Wrestle Simmons: Yeah. Yeah, I can see that. A little bit.
Us: Like a-
Wrestle Simmons: Don't you go there!
Us: Like a-
Wrestle Simmons: I'm warning you!
Us: Like a scary skeleton.
Wrestle SImmons: Thank y-
Us: Of a black man!
Wrestle Simmons: OHHHHH!!
Wrestle Simmons chased us off his property shaking his fist, but we remembered something another black man had said to us:
So we decided to go find out from a white why they all hate blacks so much...
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Youtube user HolkHogan420 has been systematically exposing all of the Illuminati's plans.
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