We soon found more blacks like celebrity black Wrestle Simmons who looked less powerful than JASON.
Us: You're wearing a pink sweater.
Wrestle Simmons: And I'm black.
Us: This is totally throwing all of our preconceptions on their ear...
Wrestle Simmons: Welcome to my world now...the Wrestle Simmons of America.
Us: Can we ask you about being black?
Wrestle Simmons: Sure. I don't mind.
Us: Who is that picture in the background?
Wrestle Simmons: I don't know, just a guy with a head shaped like a banana and glowing eyes.
Us: It's a little bit scary.
Wrestle Simmons: Yeah. Yeah, I can see that. A little bit.
Us: Like a-
Wrestle Simmons: Don't you go there!
Us: Like a-
Wrestle Simmons: I'm warning you!
Us: Like a scary skeleton.
Wrestle SImmons: Thank y-
Us: Of a black man!
Wrestle Simmons: OHHHHH!!
Wrestle Simmons chased us off his property shaking his fist, but we remembered something another black man had said to us:
So we decided to go find out from a white why they all hate blacks so much...
Finding the right hat can feel like walking through a minefield for guys. Did a murderer wear your hat? Was it ruined by bros? Are you just an idiot? Find out with our authoritative ranking of bad hats.
The Amazonians value combat prowess and purity of spirit. By wrestling half naked, they pay homage to both virtues by displaying their battle-forged bodies while preserving as much modesty as their society deems necessary. The gelatin in which they wrestle is symbolic of the fluid nature of battle, a concept the Amazonians call ‘akgor-gra.’
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.