Contact lenses denote evil. Zack: He attended the ceremony.

Ansel89: I havn't seen him in year what's he up to?

Zack: Ansel, don't you remember?

Ansel89: what

Zack: With the curved scimitar of the Djinn you cut off his head. It was your final act to join MURDERCHURCH. The blood sacrifice of a close friend.

Ansel89: wtf

Zack: I'm not joking Ansel.

Ansel89: ok i dont believe you

Zack: Ansel, do you believe…in direst magic?

Ansel89: no

Zack: what about bleak goblins?

Ansel89: I believe in phsychics like Yori Gellar

Zack: Yes, yes, psychic powers are closely intertwined with black sorcery and wicked goblins.

Ansel89: seriously how do you know sal

Zack: I can hear Sal clamoring at the rust-faced gates of the forlorn abyss, Ansel. If you wish to speak to him, you will need to do as I say as quickly as you can.

Ansel89: uhhh ok

Zack: Do you have a black candle?

Ansel89: no

Zack: How about a red one?

Ansel89: let me check bathroom

Ansel89: ok its kind of greenish white and it say apple crips on the side

Zack: Yes! That will do nicely. That will appease the wraiths that guard the gates of the abyss.

Ansel89: ok light it?

Zack: Yes. As you light it say aloud "Oh, Xogoth, I light this sinister flame to represent the hatefire that burns within your bloody entrails. May the Stargods of Ye Olde Tymes show the way to the gory filth-abyss that waits beyond the door of death."

Ansel89: r ead it out?

Zack: Yes. Be sure to pronounce "Ye Olde Tymes" as "yeh oooldie thimes."

Ansel89: ok candle is lit 2

Zack: Alright, this next step is very important, Ansel, so you need to focus your mana.

Ansel89: how

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