Livestock: moof sometimes i wish all the horses of the world had but one head so that I could punch them all at the same time
Livestock: god i hate horses!!
Moof: agh dont say that!!!!
Moof: did i ever tell you about the horses
Moof: next to my apartment
Livestock: yes you smell them and then beat your chest like tarzan
Livestock: because you love the smell of horses in the morning
Livestock: moof we've all seen that episode
Livestock: moof do you ever worry that if you don't keep moving
Livestock: barnacles will attach themselves to you
Livestock: and you'll have to go through life with a nickname
Livestock: like Barnacle Bill or something
Moof: no never i am not an oil tanker
Livestock: yeah well i never said you were
Livestock: but i mean that's not going to stop a barnacle
Livestock: a still surface is a still surface
Livestock: and if you keep still too long
Livestock: you're gonna be covered with barnacles
Moof: jesus i never thought about it that way
Moof: what can i do
Livestock: check yourself for barnacles moof
Livestock: it's the only way
Moof: HOW CAN I PREVENT THEM
Livestock: well moof you can move about every so often
Livestock: you know and brush yourself off
Livestock: avoid laying at the bottom of the sea
Livestock: and stay away from strange ports
Perfect Eggs Every Time: Hold an egg in your cupped hands. Put your hands over a fire, squeezing them together gently to crack the egg open. Try not to let any egg liquid or egg shell fall out between your fingers.
Absolve me of my past fines, so that I may checkout again.
You cant go around life being smart in an unconventional way, it could change the world.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.