Livestock: moof sometimes i wish all the horses of the world had but one head so that I could punch them all at the same time
Livestock: god i hate horses!!
Moof: agh dont say that!!!!
Moof: did i ever tell you about the horses
Moof: next to my apartment
Livestock: yes you smell them and then beat your chest like tarzan
Livestock: because you love the smell of horses in the morning
Livestock: moof we've all seen that episode
Livestock: moof do you ever worry that if you don't keep moving
Livestock: barnacles will attach themselves to you
Livestock: and you'll have to go through life with a nickname
Livestock: like Barnacle Bill or something
Moof: no never i am not an oil tanker
Livestock: yeah well i never said you were
Livestock: but i mean that's not going to stop a barnacle
Livestock: a still surface is a still surface
Livestock: and if you keep still too long
Livestock: you're gonna be covered with barnacles
Moof: jesus i never thought about it that way
Moof: what can i do
Livestock: check yourself for barnacles moof
Livestock: it's the only way
Moof: HOW CAN I PREVENT THEM
Livestock: well moof you can move about every so often
Livestock: you know and brush yourself off
Livestock: avoid laying at the bottom of the sea
Livestock: and stay away from strange ports
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.