Boruff-Davies Requirements for a Perfect Barn (1st Edition, 2007)

Livestock: moof i think maybe we should come up with a list of elements that define the perfect barn, and we can then publish this list for cash monies
Livestock: i will start
Livestock: -contains hay
Livestock: -inviting to hogs and horses
Moof: -owl's nest in rafters
Livestock: -a fresh coat of red paint on the exterior
Moof: -broken down tractor rusting in the corner
Livestock: -an escaped chain gang convict fast asleep in some hay
Livestock: -a place for ducks to shelter when the weather turns sour
Moof: -secrets hidden in the dirt wrapped in a bag under the old pig pen
Moof: livestock when i was little my dad would build us forts out of straw bales in the barn :)
Moof: some of them were multi-storied
Livestock: -some hooks and mounts for hanging tools
Livestock: your dad was okay i guess
Moof: -a nice quiet corner for hens to lay eggs
Livestock: is this a barn or a henhouse
Livestock: be realistic
Moof: have you ever even been in a barn
Livestock: of course i've been in a barn they are big and opulent
Moof: livestock we have 2 barns and many sheds
Moof: there is only one barn left because we knocked the big asbestos one down :)
Moof: sometimes as a child i would play in that barn, and grind the asbestos down into dust and breathe it in for fun
Livestock: i think one day i might like to have a barn of my own
Moof: we can raise one
Livestock: would it be wrong
Livestock: for two men to raise a barn
Moof: i dont care what society thinks
Livestock: i think barn should probably have wifi as well

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

More Mooflogs

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.