War Profiteering with Tom "Moof" Davies

Livestock: I have a new business proposal
Moof: okay shoot
Livestock: we get a bunch of Saint Bernards, okay
Livestock: then we train them in combat and counter-insurgency
Livestock: and then we get a lucrative contract with the military
Livestock: and we send these dogs to Iraq
Livestock: to fight an unjust war
Livestock: while we collect the profits
Moof: the dogs would not fight an unjust war, livestock
Livestock: why not
Moof: they are too honorable
Livestock: not if we get them drunk first!
Moof: no, livestock
Livestock: no what?
Moof: they will not do it
Livestock: how can you be sure?
Moof: they are too honorable
Livestock: you don't know that
Moof: do too
Livestock: prove it
Livestock: cite sources
Moof: www.dogs.com
Livestock: this is a front for a business
Moof: is not
Livestock: not only that, it shows a picture of a child giving a dog a bath
Moof: does it really
Moof: I did not even look at the site
Moof: looking now
Moof: oh hehe

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

More Mooflogs

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.