How To Improve Cat Shows with Tom "Moof" Davies

Livestock: moof can i ask you a serious question
Moof: yes
Livestock: what would you do to improve cat shows
Moof: well obviously that is not a question that can be answered appropriately other than in the form of a twenty thousand word dissertation
Moof: however
Moof: please allow me to outline my core beliefs
Moof: FIRSTLY the cats SHOULD NOT and i repeat SHOULD NOT be allowed within twenty feet of a lady
Moof: SECONDLY i believe the cats should all wear little coats and hats
Moof: and my THIRD and FINAL belief is that i believe the cats must always be purring all the time
Livestock: this is fascinating
Livestock: thank you for your time
Moof: no problem

Torn Between Two Monitors with Tom "Moof" Davies

Moof: i have dual monitors
Livestock: me too
Livestock: which monitor am i on
Moof: left
Livestock: you are on left as well
Moof: you are with excel
Moof: i am tempted to move you to the right
Moof: but that is where my browser and CRM reside
Livestock: i'll take right
Moof: no you are staying on left
Livestock: give me some better company plz
Moof: excel is good company
Livestock: the hell it is
Moof: the paper clip is on the right screen so you dont have to worry about him
Moof: what do you prefer to be with internet explorer and clarify
Livestock: yes i would
Moof: FINE
Moof: okay you are moved
Livestock: thanks
Moof: you are welcome
Moof: i seriously did move you
Moof: i hope you are happy now
Livestock: moof i don't like this monitor
Livestock: please move me back
Moof: ARE YOU SURE
Moof: THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO CHOOSE
Moof: LEFT OR RIGHT
Livestock: I don't know can you put me in the middle
Moof: okay
Livestock: thanks
Moof: now you are half and half
Livestock: This way I can have the best of both worlds
Moof: it makes it kind of difficult to read but i dont mind if you are happy
Livestock: I am happy, thank you
Moof: you are welcome
Moof: okay you are on the right
Moof: that was too difficult with you over both
Livestock: goddamnit moof
Livestock: give me back my space
Moof: no

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

More Mooflogs

This Week on Something Awful...

  • We Are Ready to Announce That Grimace is Human

    We Are Ready to Announce That Grimace is Human

    It's true. Grimace is human. God help us, we did our best for him.

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.