Moof: well i heard that there was a secret chord that david played and it pleased the lord :)
Livestock: do you believe in the lord
Moof: only the lord of my town it is a cat that sleeps in the mexican area :)
Moof: sometimes i drive past on the way to work it sleeps outside a store
Livestock: do you know the cat's name
Livestock: i will tell you its name
Livestock: but you must never speak it aloud
Moof: okay what is it
Moof: oops i just spoke it accidentally
Livestock: OH HECTOR
Livestock: do you know what you've done
Livestock: AHH YOU MADE ME DO IT
Moof: good hector no
Livestock: MOOF THERE IS CAT HAIR EVERYWHERE
Livestock: OH GOD A BALL OF CATS
Livestock: MY DOOR IS CLOGGED WITH A BALL OF CATS
Moof: there are flaming fur balls falling from the sky
Livestock: I CANNOT ESCAPE
Livestock: moof i have one bullet left in my gun, i must use it on myself!!
Livestock: oh god i just shot myself in the head and a cat came out of my gun
Moof: i will see you on the other side good friend i am taking as many of them with me as i can
Livestock: i shot myself with a cat
Moof: oh jesus
Moof: my hands just turned in to cats
Moof: i asm finding it difficdsujlt to tydpe
Moof: II WATFANT A MOUESSEE TO EAT
Livestock: HECTOR WHY
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.