This article is part of the BarkWire.com series.
Compost. No doubt about it. This is one POSM (P.O.S. MUTT). While yours truly was out and about, this hideous mutt launched into attack mode. Luckily BiGDOG knows a thing or two about fighting off dogs. I evaded this dumb pooch by ducking into a nearby Dairy Queen. By the time I finished my second Reese's Pieces Blizzard, that dog was long gone and BiGDOG was much satiated. Nice try, dumbass. Nobody - and I mean body - bests this guy.
The One and Only. The Auditor.In the halls of great dogs, there are many. Obviously BiGDOG is pretty biased in favor of the greatest dog of them all -- Panzer -- but every so often he has to pay his respects to another legend. That said, gotta give a big, big shout out to the late, great AUDITOR.
This big bundle of hair lived in a pool of toxic sludge for 17 years. Never asked for any help and stood his ground the whole time. All these idiots whining about the environment ought to shut the hell up and take a lesson from Auditor. If you don't act like a baby, you can live through just about anything.
I think even a topnotch dog like Panzer would give a thumbs-up to Auditor. Legends of our time, boys and girls. Legends of our time.
Just a quick update for you BiGDOG fans out there. I'm still battling the POWERS THAT BE over my unfair banning at BarkWire.com. Looks to me like those fascists have no intention of honoring the law. Guess they've never read the constitution? But then again, these are probably the same idiots throwing their votes away on McCain and Obama.
BiGDOG's gonna keep this battle going, because it's not about reviewing dogs anymore. It's about defending free speech and the right to dissent. If I let this one slide, there's no telling what's next. Shredding the Bill of Rights? Government-sanctioned slavery? I mean if the Free Market demands slavery, that's one thing. But not the government.
Meanwhile BiGDOG is reporting the truth each and every day in alt.pets.dogs.bigdogs and on dogranks.net. Dogranks is a new site and even though it is already showing signs of having too many freakin' newbs, it's the last dog website that hasn't outright banned free speech (and BiGDOG).
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
The seedy canine underworld of Shaggy Butte is explored in this hard-hitting series combining obsessive pet fanatics and crowd-sourced internet reviews.