This article is part of the SA Celebrity Stalker series.
Our celeb-hungry fanatics are always sending us the latest celebrity spots from across the country!
Kevin CostnerYesterday @ 9 am
I was at the Starbucks on the 400 block of Crane St getting a chai latte. I was a bit disheveled and I argued with the barista over the change I was given. I did not sign autographs, nor was I asked to. I will be there again tomorrow.
Bob McNeilYesterday @ 11am
I'm not sure if this guy is a celebrity but I ran into him at Wal-Mart. He said "Hi, I'm Bob McNeil" and I shook his hand. I think he might have been in that one show, the one Pete was talking about the other day. It's on cable.
Ray RomanoYesterday @ 1pm
Saw the "Everybody Loves" star chasing a dog through the farmer's market. He was yelling "come back here!" and "I'm sorry!" Looks like not everybody loves Raymond!
Ralph NaderYesterday @ 5pm
Was at Enterprise Rental Car waiting to get a car. Saw Ralph Nader glaring at an SUV, like he wanted to kill it right then and there. I guess he didn't think it was safe or something. Dude looked seriously pissed.
Kanye WestYesterday @ 7pm
Kanye West's personal diamond-studded blimp made a surprise landing at my high school! He put on an impromptu concert in the gym that was off the hook! I GOT JUSTINE'S NUMBER!!!!! WHAT AN AWESOME NIGHT!!
Courtney LoveYesterday @ 11pm
Had a weird dream where my fingers were really long, like three feet long. Anyway, I was trying to shorten them by pressing my fingertips against a wall and pushing forward and for some reason Courtney Love was there.
Mickey RourkeToday @ 5am
I saw a shadowy figure moving in the woods out behind a cabin I was renting. It ran away when I shined a light on it. I examined its leavings, and I'm pretty sure it was Mickey Rourke.
Selma HayekToday @ 10am
The bosom-rich scene-stealer was spotted breastfeeding a baby panda at the zoo. A throng of spectators had gathered to watch, and she didn't seem to mind at all. Love to see that kind of heart!
Justin TimberlakeToday @ 10am
Went to use the restroom at a BP station and saw Justin passed on out the floor. One of his legs was missing and he had a badly bandaged stump. He was really sweaty and greasy and was whimpering in his sleep. He's really let himself go.
Paris HiltonToday @ 12pm
The pop culture princess was spotted leaving the set of "Snake Warz" in a tizz. A stagehand said she was mad about having to climb inside a giant fake anaconda for a pivotal scene. What a prima donna!
Robert Downey Jr.Today @ 3pm
Saw the Ironman himself rolling a giant cheese wheel down the street. Looked like he was having the time of his life, so I asked if I could push it too. He said no. I don't think I'm ever going to watch one of his movies again. That stupid son of a bitch.
Kid RockToday @ 7pm
Holy shit! I met Kid! He was really small in person, like two feet tall. At first I thought it was some kind of trick of the eye, but no way, the dude is insanely small. He told me to follow my dreams but honestly I just wanted to get away from him.
With college finals approaching, it's time once again for Microsoft Word autosummaries of all the old, boring books you were supposed to read.
"Don't you get it? What we have to understand is it's them or us. It can't be all of us, or one. It's got to be us, or they become it. Then we lose what makes us we."
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Keep up with all the latest celebrity sightings from New York to LA, and anywhere else the stars shine.