This article is part of the SA Celebrity Stalker series.
Our celeb-hungry fanatics are always sending us the latest celebrity spots from across the country!
Kevin CostnerYesterday @ 9 am
I was at the Starbucks on the 400 block of Crane St getting a chai latte. I was a bit disheveled and I argued with the barista over the change I was given. I did not sign autographs, nor was I asked to. I will be there again tomorrow.
Bob McNeilYesterday @ 11am
I'm not sure if this guy is a celebrity but I ran into him at Wal-Mart. He said "Hi, I'm Bob McNeil" and I shook his hand. I think he might have been in that one show, the one Pete was talking about the other day. It's on cable.
Ray RomanoYesterday @ 1pm
Saw the "Everybody Loves" star chasing a dog through the farmer's market. He was yelling "come back here!" and "I'm sorry!" Looks like not everybody loves Raymond!
Ralph NaderYesterday @ 5pm
Was at Enterprise Rental Car waiting to get a car. Saw Ralph Nader glaring at an SUV, like he wanted to kill it right then and there. I guess he didn't think it was safe or something. Dude looked seriously pissed.
Kanye WestYesterday @ 7pm
Kanye West's personal diamond-studded blimp made a surprise landing at my high school! He put on an impromptu concert in the gym that was off the hook! I GOT JUSTINE'S NUMBER!!!!! WHAT AN AWESOME NIGHT!!
Courtney LoveYesterday @ 11pm
Had a weird dream where my fingers were really long, like three feet long. Anyway, I was trying to shorten them by pressing my fingertips against a wall and pushing forward and for some reason Courtney Love was there.
Mickey RourkeToday @ 5am
I saw a shadowy figure moving in the woods out behind a cabin I was renting. It ran away when I shined a light on it. I examined its leavings, and I'm pretty sure it was Mickey Rourke.
Selma HayekToday @ 10am
The bosom-rich scene-stealer was spotted breastfeeding a baby panda at the zoo. A throng of spectators had gathered to watch, and she didn't seem to mind at all. Love to see that kind of heart!
Justin TimberlakeToday @ 10am
Went to use the restroom at a BP station and saw Justin passed on out the floor. One of his legs was missing and he had a badly bandaged stump. He was really sweaty and greasy and was whimpering in his sleep. He's really let himself go.
Paris HiltonToday @ 12pm
The pop culture princess was spotted leaving the set of "Snake Warz" in a tizz. A stagehand said she was mad about having to climb inside a giant fake anaconda for a pivotal scene. What a prima donna!
Robert Downey Jr.Today @ 3pm
Saw the Ironman himself rolling a giant cheese wheel down the street. Looked like he was having the time of his life, so I asked if I could push it too. He said no. I don't think I'm ever going to watch one of his movies again. That stupid son of a bitch.
Kid RockToday @ 7pm
Holy shit! I met Kid! He was really small in person, like two feet tall. At first I thought it was some kind of trick of the eye, but no way, the dude is insanely small. He told me to follow my dreams but honestly I just wanted to get away from him.
This libtard terminator keeps asking for guns that don't exist and I may have to close early out of frustration.
Editor's Note: Due to a freak power outage, this obituary of Barbara Bush was written without the benefit of research. In order to pay our respects to this great woman in a timely fashion, we have decided to post this piece as-is. We hope you forgive any errors on our part.
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