This article is part of the SA Celebrity Stalker series.
It's been a week of monstrous sightings for our dedicated star hunters. From London to Hollywood, they bring the goods!
The MummyYesterday @ 11 am
The Mummy and his kids were at Macy's doing some back to school shopping. Mummy is an awesome dad, and his kids looked seemed pretty happy. Looked really good in his fresh wraps.
The Invisible ManYesterday @ 11pm
Just saw Invisible Man and Martin Scorsese eating lunch at Rue Morgue. At least I think it was him. Either that or Martin Scorsese was eating lunch by himself.
Dr. Henry JekyllYesterday @ 7pm
Sat near Dr. Jekyll at the Yankees game. He was cheering for the enthusiastically for the Yanks, then left during the seventh inning. He came back a few minutes later wearing a Red Sox jersey and starts booing the Yanks. What a goddamn turncoat.
Frankenstein's Monster & DiddyYesterday @ 9pm
Saw Frank's monster downing pints at posh nightclub Horror with Diddy. Looked like Diddy was trying to console poor Frank. Guess he's still reeling from the breakup.
DraculaYesterday @ 11pm
Spotted the Prince of Darkness and his super sexy new gal pal creeping around Soho in the middle night. She looked about 200 years his junior. So scandalous! Look out Hugh Hefner!
Ex-Bride of FrankensteinYesterday @ 11pm
She was dancing up a storm at Underworld, bumping and grinding to Timbaland's Monster Mash remix. She drank a lot and flirted with all the boys in the club, so it's obvious she's shopping for a new groom.
Gill-ManToday @ 2am
Gill-Man! Total party beast! He wandered into our frat by mistake and ended up staying after he saw the keg. Left at like 5am carrying some drunk girl in his arms. Think he wanted to make sure she made it home safe.
The Wolf ManToday @ 10am
Saw the Wolf Man at Denny's. He was by humself devouring a Lumberjack Slam and making a mess of himself. Looks like he put on about sixty pounds and started balding up top.
Mina HarkerToday @ 1pm
Spotted Mina with young Quincey at the zoo checking out the tigers. She seemed very jumpy and paranoid and glared at me when she saw me taking a picture on my iPhone.
IgorToday @ 5pm
Bumped into at Vons. He was buying a rotisserie chicken and some beer. Said hi and he said he was having Quasimodo over for movie night. Really sweet and sincere, though he drooled a lot.
Phantom of the OperaToday @ 7pm
Erik and the Headless Horseman were hanging out together doing some karaoke. The duo tried to cover Queen and David Bowie's "Under Pressure," only Erik seemed to be on his own. Headless just stood there looking like a chump.
The BlobToday @ 8pm
Holy shit! Nearly got absorbed by the Blob as he slithered down Hollywood Boulevard. Blob was making horrible noises into his cell phone and not paying any attention to traffic or pedestrians. Kind of a jerk if you ask me.
This libtard terminator keeps asking for guns that don't exist and I may have to close early out of frustration.
Editor's Note: Due to a freak power outage, this obituary of Barbara Bush was written without the benefit of research. In order to pay our respects to this great woman in a timely fashion, we have decided to post this piece as-is. We hope you forgive any errors on our part.
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