You're the modern Thoreau"Sorry, ma." You mumble, but when you get to your bedroom door, you slam it extra hard so she knows how unhappy you feel about your punishment. You don't need soda. You don't need sister. You don't need mom (just her money and cooking and car riding and laundry help). You don't need WoW either. You sign on and tell all your friends you aren't coming. After you have rejected the world, you lie out on your bed and play your Nintendo DS. You've read enough of Walden to know how smart you are.
Forget Target or Best Buy, if you want deals this Black Friday you can't do better than smoking massive, mind-melting quantities of DMT.
A reluctant family is forced to welcome a non-human participant to Thanksgiving dinner.
You cant go around life being smart in an unconventional way, it could change the world.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.