You enter the gas station and walk straight to the soda case. An obnoxious country song comes out of the speakers, and you notice that there is no one inside. You pull out a large Mountain Dew and head to the cashier. Groping your pockets, you realize that you don't have any money. He smirks, but tells you that he can't give goods out for free.
"Listen," you say, getting his attention, then tell him how important it is that you get this soda.
"Well, I guess there is one way you can get your soda" He says, smiling.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
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