You enter the gas station and walk straight to the soda case. An obnoxious country song comes out of the speakers, and you notice that there is no one inside. You pull out a large Mountain Dew and head to the cashier. Groping your pockets, you realize that you don't have any money. He smirks, but tells you that he can't give goods out for free.
"Listen," you say, getting his attention, then tell him how important it is that you get this soda.
"Well, I guess there is one way you can get your soda" He says, smiling.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Youtube user HolkHogan420 has been systematically exposing all of the Illuminati's plans.
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