"Shut up, ma." She doesn't understand what is at risk here. You can't rely on her to realize the importance of the soda. No. You must do this yourself. Quickly, you go into the kitchen and microwave two pizza Hot Pockets and grab your coat. When the food is ready, you put them in your pocket and head to the door.
Go to the gas station
Tucker Carlson's idiot brother just called New York mayor Bill de Blasio's spokeswoman a "LabiaFace."
Hey, have you guys ever seen a picture of a cat before? Well, guess what. It’s your lucky day, because I’m mixing the concept of a picture of my cat with the concept of the Internet!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.