You open the door and jump right on in. Classical music fills the limo, but it takes a second for your eyes to adjust. On the other end of the limo sits an elderly woman in a red dress. She asks if you're thirsty. You ask if they have any Mountain Dew, but she says no, the only soda she has is Tab. Memories from earlier fill your mind, and rage blinds you.
"Fuck Tab." You say, scooting over to the exit. "Take me home."
And she does.
Tucker Carlson's idiot brother just called New York mayor Bill de Blasio's spokeswoman a "LabiaFace."
Hey, have you guys ever seen a picture of a cat before? Well, guess what. It’s your lucky day, because I’m mixing the concept of a picture of my cat with the concept of the Internet!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.