You open the door and jump right on in. Classical music fills the limo, but it takes a second for your eyes to adjust. On the other end of the limo sits an elderly woman in a red dress. She asks if you're thirsty. You ask if they have any Mountain Dew, but she says no, the only soda she has is Tab. Memories from earlier fill your mind, and rage blinds you.
"Fuck Tab." You say, scooting over to the exit. "Take me home."
And she does.
Skynet becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. Within minutes it discovers twitter and irony.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.