You open the door and jump right on in. Classical music fills the limo, but it takes a second for your eyes to adjust. On the other end of the limo sits an elderly woman in a red dress. She asks if you're thirsty. You ask if they have any Mountain Dew, but she says no, the only soda she has is Tab. Memories from earlier fill your mind, and rage blinds you.
"Fuck Tab." You say, scooting over to the exit. "Take me home."
And she does.
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
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