She opens her hands and you take a small whiff. You are knocked back against the toilet. Truly, the worst smell of your life. She giggles and claps, and you realize she may be mentally unstable. The idea that you just smelled a stranger's fart is causing you to lose your temper and you want to leave before anything brash happens. As you stand up to push the woman out of your way the tall man enters into the bathroom.
"Looks like you met Claire." He says.
Yeah, hey I think I'm going to head out."
"Well where you goin'."
"Heck, I could take you there." He says, "Especially since you were so kind to Clair." He then leans in and whispers in your ear, "She doesn't have much friends."
The three of you load into his pickup truck and head north. The small cab is packed and a song by The Eagles come out of his radio. You wonder what happened to your mom's car, but the site of roller coasters in the distance distracts you. The man drops you off at the front gate, and you wave goodbye to him and his retarded daughter as they drive off.
You go up the cashier and hand her your Grandmother's social security check.
"What am I supposed to do with that?" She asks.
CONGRATULATIONS YOU MADE IT TO CEDAR POINT.
SORRY YOU COULDN'T MAKE IT INSIDE.
Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.