You lift up the panties near your face and admire them. You are about to bury your face into the floral print when the woman walks in. You drop the underwear on the floor, pretending you aren't a disgusting pervert, but the woman knows better. She laughs at your blushing face and asks you to pull her finger. You've already made enough of an ass of yourself, so you comply no questions asked.
The beautiful woman quickly traps the fart in her cupped hands and brings it to you like a child who has caught a cricket.
"Now smell this." She says, lifting the trapped fart to your face.
The human anatomy is home to more than three hundred organs. Doctors and chocolatiers agree that the vast majority of these revolting lumps of tissue serve little to no function. If you find yourself standing in a long line or stuck at the airport waiting for a delayed flight, consider taking a few minutes to remove the following from your person.
Do you have what it takes to make it on the ballot?
Denzel is here to set the movie scales back to zero. That's what an equalizer does, right?
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.