You lift up the panties near your face and admire them. You are about to bury your face into the floral print when the woman walks in. You drop the underwear on the floor, pretending you aren't a disgusting pervert, but the woman knows better. She laughs at your blushing face and asks you to pull her finger. You've already made enough of an ass of yourself, so you comply no questions asked.
The beautiful woman quickly traps the fart in her cupped hands and brings it to you like a child who has caught a cricket.
"Now smell this." She says, lifting the trapped fart to your face.
The first time "fast", "decisive", and "efficient" could have been used to describe the Minecraft development team was when they snatched the $2.5 billion dollar check out of Microsoft's sweaty, shaking hand.
Paleo guru and definite non-idiot Luke K. clears the air about some of your favorite pumpkin treats this holiday season. Also he weighs in on the controversy surrounding a paleo wedding cake.
No lifeguard on duty. Maze run at your own risk.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.