You lift up the panties near your face and admire them. You are about to bury your face into the floral print when the woman walks in. You drop the underwear on the floor, pretending you aren't a disgusting pervert, but the woman knows better. She laughs at your blushing face and asks you to pull her finger. You've already made enough of an ass of yourself, so you comply no questions asked.
The beautiful woman quickly traps the fart in her cupped hands and brings it to you like a child who has caught a cricket.
"Now smell this." She says, lifting the trapped fart to your face.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
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