You carefully check the tires, put on your helmet, make sure the handlebars are aligned, and remove the baseball card that made your bike sound like a motorcycle. You'll miss the THYACK-THYACK-THYACK noise, but oh well. You fit two cans of Mountain Dew into the water bottle slot and quickly walk the bike to the curb. You take one last glance at your house before peddling off. A great journey is about to start.

Peddle On!

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This Week on Something Awful...

  • Crisis at the North Pole

    Crisis at the North Pole

    The 17-century battle between Santa Claus and Satan reaches an unfortunate peak.

  • Christmaspasta

    Christmaspasta

    The unSlender Man is a humanoid male with a rotund belly and jocular disposition. He is described as wearing a red suit with white trim and a matching hat. While it is rare to catch a glimpse of the unSlender Man, victims say his footprints in the snow are visible for days after his visits. Thats right, you guessed it- idts the big man Santa Claus.

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