The skull t-shirt makes you feel alive, and you punch your bedroom wall for some weird nerd reason. Ouch you think as you bandage your bleeding knuckles.
You head to the garage and grab your mountain bike. It'll be a long journey, maybe 100 miles or so, but the doctor said you could use some more exercise anyway. You open the door and see your mother's Geo Tracker in the driveway. You can hear her favorite Eagles cassette tape blaring. It looks like she left the thing running all night. You glance back at your bike. Well, what do you think?
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.