The skull t-shirt makes you feel alive, and you punch your bedroom wall for some weird nerd reason. Ouch you think as you bandage your bleeding knuckles.
You head to the garage and grab your mountain bike. It'll be a long journey, maybe 100 miles or so, but the doctor said you could use some more exercise anyway. You open the door and see your mother's Geo Tracker in the driveway. You can hear her favorite Eagles cassette tape blaring. It looks like she left the thing running all night. You glance back at your bike. Well, what do you think?
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.