"Goodbye Nerd Jacobs." You say, gripping his unconscious head. You twist it like Batman, expecting to hear a loud crack. Instead, Nerd Jacobs wakes up and begins flailing around. He tells you to back away, and at first you do, but while he gropes the floor trying to find his glasses, you snap. You lift up his large PC and drop it on his skull.
Once his body stops moving, you grab the paper and walk out of the room.
This Week on Something Awful...
Let's Get Way More Specific With Our Lists of the Top Rich People
Top 10 Billionaires in the World? Most Powerful People in Tech? We've seen lists just like these for decades now. Recent features like Best Billionaires Under 40 have attempted to shake things up by getting more specific, but they need to go even further.
I Cannot Continue to Review Mobile Games for a Network Funded by Vladimir Putin
RT mobile games reviewer Jeff Glukhov quits RT after being forced to give pro-Russian reviews to various iPhone and Android games.
300: Rise of an Empire; Mr. Peabody & Sherman; Nymphomaniac: Volume I; Repentance
Did anybody even want this sequel?
Merlin and the Book of Beasts
James Callis delivers easily the best-worst Merlin performance of the last 500 years.
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Previous Articles
- Of Mayonnaise And Modern Rebellion
- Every American Should Own a Gun
- Nobody Messes with S.W.O.R.D.
- Unlike My Opponent: Health Care Edition
- Dan Quinn Queers the Stevia Deal
