"Goodbye Nerd Jacobs." You say, gripping his unconscious head. You twist it like Batman, expecting to hear a loud crack. Instead, Nerd Jacobs wakes up and begins flailing around. He tells you to back away, and at first you do, but while he gropes the floor trying to find his glasses, you snap. You lift up his large PC and drop it on his skull.
Once his body stops moving, you grab the paper and walk out of the room.
This Week on Something Awful...
The Deadliest Snake In The Wild West
Ask any cowboy and they'll tell you: The deadliest snake in the wild west is Lava-Filled Hole Shaped Exactly Like A Cowboy Silhouette
Garfield Cooks Up Trouble is the most offensive and dangerous book I've ever read
Garfield is a poison of bigotry on our culture and I have never been more offended on behalf of people than I am right now.
A Guide to Understanding Ben Garrison's Political Cartoons
Ben Garrison's Cartoons are finally explained!
Not Being Scared By A Person With A Chainsaw!
me, getting my arm hacked off: you moron. chainsaws arent even used in hockey
A Recap Of Every DOTA 2 International Match
(indecipherable yelling as eight heroes stand still in an ankle-deep wavepool)
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
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