"Goodbye Nerd Jacobs." You say, gripping his unconscious head. You twist it like Batman, expecting to hear a loud crack. Instead, Nerd Jacobs wakes up and begins flailing around. He tells you to back away, and at first you do, but while he gropes the floor trying to find his glasses, you snap. You lift up his large PC and drop it on his skull.
Once his body stops moving, you grab the paper and walk out of the room.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.