You.You have the paper in your hand, and you walk to the door. As you walk out of the room, you turn around one last time to see Nerd Jacobs. He is gone. The dude is straight up M.I.A. Your heart starts racing. He could be anywhere. You slam the door shut and run to your room. You open the door, only to have Nerd Jacobs already sitting at your desk. Your body freezes with fear. He slowly pulls down his glasses, and without his thick lenses on, you see into his eyes. They begin to glow. You try to turn around, but it is too late. Beams shoot out of his iris and saw you in two. Your severed chest falls to the ground while your legs slump against the wall., then they both burn into a pile ash. Nerd Jacobs smirks, checks your internet history, and then makes your homepage goatse. Owned infinity.
And you thought women had one-dimensional script intros that treated them like sex objects. Ewoks have it even worse.
No one seems to like the new Doom box art. But it's still the same old Doom Guy under that space marine helmet. Right?
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