"Can I have some help?" You say, bowing your head in shame.

"No." She says, then continues, "pussy."
"Damn."

The two of you stand still for a minute, staring at one another. Then, out of the blue, you run to her window and punch it out. Blood and glass cover your arm as you frantically clear the glass with your flesh.

"What the hell are you doing?" She screams.

"I don't you." You say, telling the truth. You really don't know what you're doing and why you weren't given a choice. It's like you're being controlled by some higher, though lazy, power, and that power has run out of ideas.

Once the glass is gone, you wave goodbye to Zoey with your broken hand, and then jump out to the pavement below.

What the fuck just happened?
More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.