You pull the paper out of her hand and smile. Hell yeah. Work finished. She starts screaming some stupid shit about how you're a dick, but you don't listen. Instead you push her on the ground, and when she tries to stand back up, you push her again. She says she will call the police, so open up the bedroom window and throw her out. Sorority girls kill themselves all the time, you think. The cops will probably think she did it cause she was the fat one in the group. No time to think about it though. You have to turn this sucker in.

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • The Fandangling Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    The Fandangling Fables of Groggery Gibbonman

    'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'

  • Enter: the Lead Loremaster

    Enter: the Lead Loremaster

    I've been wanting to meet you all for the past few weeks, but I guess I cut an intimidating figure. I'm the new guy, with the cool job you've all surely been gossiping about. Yep, I'm the Lead Loremaster, and I'm here to enrich everything we do with much-needed lore.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.