You pull the paper out of her hand and smile. Hell yeah. Work finished. She starts screaming some stupid shit about how you're a dick, but you don't listen. Instead you push her on the ground, and when she tries to stand back up, you push her again. She says she will call the police, so open up the bedroom window and throw her out. Sorority girls kill themselves all the time, you think. The cops will probably think she did it cause she was the fat one in the group. No time to think about it though. You have to turn this sucker in.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
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