You pull the paper out of her hand and smile. Hell yeah. Work finished. She starts screaming some stupid shit about how you're a dick, but you don't listen. Instead you push her on the ground, and when she tries to stand back up, you push her again. She says she will call the police, so open up the bedroom window and throw her out. Sorority girls kill themselves all the time, you think. The cops will probably think she did it cause she was the fat one in the group. No time to think about it though. You have to turn this sucker in.
The first time "fast", "decisive", and "efficient" could have been used to describe the Minecraft development team was when they snatched the $2.5 billion dollar check out of Microsoft's sweaty, shaking hand.
Paleo guru and definite non-idiot Luke K. clears the air about some of your favorite pumpkin treats this holiday season. Also he weighs in on the controversy surrounding a paleo wedding cake.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.