Pardon me Train Smeller Lady, but yours truly has elected to bust a mondo dook all up in this train car. Deal with it.

Whoa honey, where's all this hostility coming from? I thought you'd really like rolling over into a cold pool of my waste.

As your new Mayor of Big Lots, I promise to sort and consolidate all expired energy drinks into a single aisle, and will find out who keeps buying all this Betty Boop-branded shit.

Can you believe it, Haruhi? People were making out and drinking alcohol and whispering bad words to each other. Disgusting!

Lonely Angel Dog has nobody to play with for the next like 40 years. What if it's not heaven after all?...

some guys shot at me and my devil hoes wtf is ther problem

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  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

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