[Riddick looks at the glowing Machariel sword in his hand. He tests its weight. He spins it and flips it around and appears to know exactly how to use the giant sword.]
RIDDICK: It'll do.
[Boglath, Devourer of Furya, grips Riddick by his throat, lifting him up off the ground. Smoke glows off Boglath's body. His faceless head tilts to one side and Riddick's face begins to appear on the surface as Boglath eats Riddick's life force.]
BOGLATH: Your hatred is sweet.
RIDDICK: Tell me how this tastes.
[Kicks a knife into Boglath's head.]
[Riddick flexes his double muscles. The Machariel Nephilim Guard swoop in around him. They are numberless. Riddick floats into the air. His eyes glowing. Lightning crackles around him. Int he cathedral windows planets are visible being smashed apart by the black beams of the Revelation Hammers.]
RIDDICK: Let's dance.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
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