When I was a child, I felt a revulsion towards the eggplant. I would tell my mother, "No, do not place that vegetable in my bento box!" But she did not relent. After playing Kid Icarus, I gained an appreciation of the eggplant, which gained even more so upon the demise of my mother. Now, I bring this character to the world of Smash Bros., complete with his "quick heart" fighting style. You will find the increase of heartbeat upon being transformed into a vegetable. This is what it is like to be in a salad!

No! Kirby! Do not eat that eggplant. This is a ruse concocted by a wizard of eggplants! Whatever shall Kirby do?

The Eggplant Wizard shows a man what happens to those who do not share a fondness of vegetables. B-BLAST! You have now become one.

Once again, Eggplant-kun makes a transformation of everyone into eggplants. It is a frustrating move that is impossible to counter. He makes me glad I design these games and do not play them!

Donkey Kong has learned a valuable lesson this day. If one wishes to destroy the chief of eggplants, one must hit them strongly in the back of the head. Please remember this.

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2018 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.