> Switch back to wife
> Start speaking to bob in menacing voice
> "hello bob... its us again... your wife has some nice tits, oooooh yeah her tits are great. *dramatic pause* there is nothing you can do about us. we have a holy mission to carry out and its beyond your puny human comprehension. we will awaken."
> Switch back to the kid
> Speak in same menacing voice
>" can you feel it? *audibly shivers* hes calling me. its coming."
> Silently wish for Satan and Beelz to enter the room and bring hell with them.
> >Become the 5th Horseman of the Apocalypse
> Take Satan by the hand. Turn to your parents and say "Friendship is magical," then walk out of the room and leave them to their fate.
If you'd like to see the entire 42-page thread, including the Goons' particularly gruesome first whirl at Bob's life and other stuff that's frankly too messed up for the front page, you can read it in the Goldmine Archives! And if you'd like to participate in a new Atma thread right now, you're in luck!
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
U2 and Apple have conspired to place a U2 album into your music in the year 2014. You own a U2 album. And you can't get rid of it.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
Photoshop Phriday showcases the tremendous image manipulation talents of the Something Awful Forum Goons. Each week they tackle a new theme, parodying movies, video games, comics, history, and anything else you can think of. If you want in on the action, join us on the Something Awful Forums!