Not long ago, I encountered an elderly dog-walker at the park. While our pets sniffed each other's asses, she explained that the mutt's name was Matches, because she wanted to be able to tell her grandson "go play with Matches!" Ha ha ha! Anyway, last night I was watching the local news and saw a familiar face; apparently, her house burned down. She was just standing there with Matches, surveying the ashes. Lady, this theme's for you!
Myron (Hillary Clinton + Brooklyn Decker)
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
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