MutantBlue got cataracts from looking at a blurry photo of Allah.

Designer0 can touch his elbows to his nose thanks to a grotesque, mind-destroying form of Lovecraftesque non-Euclidian geometry.

MutantBlue barks like a seal during the intimate times.

lunketard injured his face by looking at a cactus through a microscope.

Elbonio swallowed a fist-sized lump of magnesium on a dare, and lived to tell about it for about thirty seconds.

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  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

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