Happy Independence Day everybody! Even to you imprisoned peoples of the rest of the world who have no idea what you're missing! It would be awfully communist of us not to capitalize on this fine summer holiday, and so we're doing that. How? Well, by showing you fireworks packaging of course! As a resident of Indiana, a state that consists entirely of fireworks billboards and fireworks stands, I know how important presentation is when it comes to marketing what is essentially paper and gun powder that may or may not be attached to a stick. If you browse a fireworks stand, you will instantly notice the amazing design work that goes into fireworks, from the colorful labels that consist of various explosion-like shapes, to the ominous warnings written in a language that isn't quite English and isn't quite anything. The Something Awful Forum Goons
decided to give fireworks making a shot, and featured here are the results. I went to all that trouble of explaining how crappy fireworks packaging is for a reason: these pictures are mostly crappy as well, and mostly by design. Somehow, that makes everything all the more authentic. To make up for the savage nature of the Photoshopping present this week, I have deployed some genuine quality contrast to the last two pages of this feature. It's not quite a Page of Shame, it's more of a sampling of the reader submissions I get e-mailed every so often, which, in there own way, are often far worse.
It's only fair that I start things off with a real example of fireworks packaging (thanks to "Hello" for suppling this):
"LoonyLeif" started things off with a dud. You text align like a pussy!
"therapy" is a master of digit subtraction.
"Mike Toole" has nothing to hide, nothing at all.