Livestock: oh gosh do you have any words of hope for our readers
Moof: yes if i may do you mind
Livestock: no not at all please
Moof: okay i would like to remind our readers that life is a lot like a happy dog on a trampoline - he can not get off and although it is the same over and over and up and down and up and down he is so happy he is drooling a little bit and when the night comes the darkness will devour him and the trampoline will slowly fall silent until the sun rises in the morning and everything that you believed in or even cared about is gone
Livestock: what happened to the dog???
Livestock: the trampoline dog is the most misleading animal since the trojan horse!!
Moof: all dogs go to a special place at night
Moof: you said that about otters!
Moof: or was it owls
Moof: i forgot they are so similar
Livestock: you have destroyed everything i love in this world
Moof: you still have your dog you should cherish it and wrap it in american flags and take it on parades
Moof: because a parade is only a funeral in disguise
Livestock: this is no message of hope!!
Moof: yes and you are no pretty young lady how does it feel to be deceived
The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'
This is the crown jewel of my erotic lamp collection, and a must-have for any serious pleasure lamp collector.
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
Moof and Livestock discuss life, love, human nature, and all the most important issues affecting humanity.