You can't blame "scrotch" for having a dream.
"mortalenema" made this one for the kids:
"Nipples" simply doesn't know enough Tom Jones, and for that he's doomed to suffer not knowing enough Tom Jones.
"ixnay" establishes himself as a cool kid by bringing sports into the mix.
"CardinlBiggles" cheated and is therefore disqualified.
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
Photoshop Phriday showcases the tremendous image manipulation talents of the Something Awful Forum Goons. Each week they tackle a new theme, parodying movies, video games, comics, history, and anything else you can think of. If you want in on the action, join us on the Something Awful Forums!