Page of Shame

Dear MattO, I'm not sure what this is a reference to, but even if it was a reference to Jesus Christ giving birth to a litter of puppies and then turning them into delicious wine, it would still look terrible. The big demon guy embedded in the rock and the guy getting whipped in the water stick out like a sore thumb on a dolphin, and dolphins don't have thumbs, genius. I think you probably spent some time on this, since you went to the trouble of making the chain awkwardly go behind the hill with the house on it, but I don't think any amount of effort would have ever made this look good. Better luck next time, and please pay me $5,000 since I suffered whiplash jolting my neck away from my monitor when your picture popped up.

Thank you Slagh for another example as to why flat 2d art looks bad when composted into anything even remotely 3-dimensional. I don't care if your Peanuts joke was cute or not, because peanuts give me stomach aches. I would write a mean comment, but I'm too lazy. Here now is my grocery list:

  1. Eggs, dozen
  2. Milk, 2%
  3. Bread, wheat
  4. Ice cream, vanilla
  5. Hammer, for the brutal beating of Slagh
  6. Ice cream, chocolate

I'll see you in HELL!

Even after schwez came through this week with his absolutely beautiful Kraken image, Soul-Inflicted decided that the possibilities of a Kraken-Kinkade union had yet to be exhausted. He proved this with one of the most brutal cut and paste jobs ever. If Ray Harryhausen saw what you did with his beautiful Kraken, he would probably murder you and then use your corpse as a chamber pot.

Spudz76's picture might have worked if it didn't suffer from the problem of crazy perspective errors and the fact that all the people he added violently contrast the original painting. Spudz76, you might have been able to pull this off if you only used one or two people, but then the result would still have been the same: an unfunny image. Seriously, when was yard work ever a funny subject matter? I ought to scar you in the face with a rake and shove leaves down your pants.

Y2Kdogg is another one of those idealess monkeys cashing in on a stupid bandwagon craze. While some people at least make their attempts at unoriginally look good, he settles for hoping that the Smudge Stick filter in Photoshop would do that for him. It doesn't. I'm giving you a ten minute head start, Y2Kdogg. Then I'm going to release the hounds and come after you with my shotgun. To anyone else considering submitting another "badger badger badger" image, I will have you removed from the Internet. How? By killing you.

THE END! Hooray! Bye!

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

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