Self fellatio has been proven by medical doctors and men with fake medical licenses to dramatically reduce the chance of a heart attack. Fractured ribs, however, are on the rise.

"pokemona" forgot to take her medication. Anime nuts will frequently fall into their fantasy world on a whim. If you see a fat white girl in the street acting out her favorite anime show STAY AWAY.

This comment has been censored.

Don't try to understand.

The internet!

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.