Self fellatio has been proven by medical doctors and men with fake medical licenses to dramatically reduce the chance of a heart attack. Fractured ribs, however, are on the rise.

"pokemona" forgot to take her medication. Anime nuts will frequently fall into their fantasy world on a whim. If you see a fat white girl in the street acting out her favorite anime show STAY AWAY.

This comment has been censored.

Don't try to understand.

The internet!

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.