When Bill Clinton was confronted by that 9/11 truther you just know that in the back of his mind he wanted to say, "Listen here you little jerk off..." If he had said that I would have written him in on the next ballot no matter what the constitution says!

Well it is kind of my bitch to be hassled when I bring my girlfriend in for her abortion. Luckily the 7th one is free.

Considering how badly the country has been run the last seven years I think that being controlled by the Jews wouldn't be so bad...

Even if this were true I honestly would not care. The Jews seem like a happening bunch of people.

This days it isn't Tom Cruise or Brad Pit that sells a movie, it's RON PAUL 08 VOTE RON PAUL EIGHT TIMES AND YOUR FIRST CRUSH WILL KISS U!!!

You're going to have to pay me more than $10 a head to get me to round up illegals. Perhaps you can get some illegals to do it for cheaper?

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

  • SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.