Unless it's Lasanga Cat I'm not clicking.


This is just an excuse for havin' no game, son. Get out there and give some women some backhanded compliments and they'll be yours!


Well the Bible has a lot of contradictions. There's probably another passage where they say cut penises look better or something.


Nah, I think eternity jumped the shark years ago. Eternity's days are numbered.


I like diggin up dead bodies
look at me Im gross
my name's Violent J but you can call me syphillis
gonorrhea the clap cause i infected this rap
you wanna know if i could ever kill somebody
well thats like askin Charlie Manson if he's ever been in jail
I kill family, friends, myself
what, yeah, I'd kill myself if I could only survive


Considering most of America lives a McChristian life, I doubt eating too much McDonald's is a sin.


More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.