Not one of the persons featured in this week's instalment of Weekend Web are normal. None of them know how to talk to the opposite gender or their own for that matter. They jerk off in the subways and theaters of our great nation. They don't use their turn signals when merging onto the freeway or changing lanes. At the supermarket they bring twenty-two items into the fifteen items or less line and expect service. Their fathers are either dead or in jail. When these moron's computers, the ones they use to post these very messages, break down from the weight of Kazaa, Gator, and Bonzai Buddy, they frantically call tech support bewildered, angry, and unreasonable. They can't be bothered to run virus, adware, or disk scans. When standing in line for roller coaster rides they will smoke without concern for anybody else around them. Once they are told they can't fit in the train's seats they become livid, yell at the ride operators, and storm out of there in a fat huff. They think their retarded children will cure cancer someday, and place bumper stickers on their cars that inform us that they are indeed talented. These are the people we hate. When they are not irritating us by day they are posting bullshit like this by night.

ANY GIRLS WANT TO HANG OUT WITH A FAT MESS OF A PERSON? EMAIL ME!

"the realist man ever" is undoubtably keeping it real.

"Chuckifer" is one romantic bastard.

Don't we all.

Which of these sentence fragments should not belong?

When "DARKGODDESS7" says she'll suck you off I don't think she means it in that way.

Card-carrying member of the Future Sex Offenders of America.

Forty years from now when the internet collapses in a giant implosion of stupidity I want to be able to say, "I was there."

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