Not the happiest ending to a story, but thanks for contributing to the sum of human knowledge nonetheless.

"Michael explosive diarrhea." Interesting. I knew a kid back in junior high with a similar name, but it was just a nickname.

Stories of personal courage are the best, like when someone runs into a burning building to save a baby. Or this.

That song from Toy Story that goes "You've got a friiiiend in me" is in my head right now and it won't stop.

Your neighbors suddenly get a new reason to gossip about you.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2017 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.