You would never get laid.

You have 1,000 pictures of asian whores. You have 1,000 pictures of your family. You should even have 1,000 pictures of Something Awful Forum members who have taken off their clothes. You should not have 1,000 pictures of some stupid game character you are unhealthily obsessed with.

I feel dizzy. This might finally be the Weekend Web where I stroke out and forget all about the internet. Oh God I hope so!

Why'd you ban this poor guy? He doesn't seem any more crazy than the rest of you people.

When GameFAQs posts their "BEST GAME CHARACTER EVER" poll you can be sure it weighs heavily on the minds of 13-year-olds everywhere.

For me it has to be how, uhm, hm... nothing.

You don't have $30.

I like to pretend I have two tails and getting fucked in the ass by Sonic.

Allow me to answer your question with a shovel. Bend over please.

You're not exactly the most dedicated fan.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.