You would never get laid.

You have 1,000 pictures of asian whores. You have 1,000 pictures of your family. You should even have 1,000 pictures of Something Awful Forum members who have taken off their clothes. You should not have 1,000 pictures of some stupid game character you are unhealthily obsessed with.

I feel dizzy. This might finally be the Weekend Web where I stroke out and forget all about the internet. Oh God I hope so!

Why'd you ban this poor guy? He doesn't seem any more crazy than the rest of you people.

When GameFAQs posts their "BEST GAME CHARACTER EVER" poll you can be sure it weighs heavily on the minds of 13-year-olds everywhere.

For me it has to be how, uhm, hm... nothing.

You don't have $30.

I like to pretend I have two tails and getting fucked in the ass by Sonic.

Allow me to answer your question with a shovel. Bend over please.

You're not exactly the most dedicated fan.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • We Are Ready to Announce That Grimace is Human

    We Are Ready to Announce That Grimace is Human

    It's true. Grimace is human. God help us, we did our best for him.

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

About This Column

There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.