She's just a bitch! Whack her in the face with a shovel and have your way with her. You earned it son.
I lost my virginity to a tire pump.
Read the directions on the back of the box. If that fails, learn to read.
You need to raise your standards my friend. And by that I mean raise them to the 200-250 pound range.
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Lay there as still as you possibly can. Don't enjoy it or make a sound. That's considered rude!
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
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