She's just a bitch! Whack her in the face with a shovel and have your way with her. You earned it son.
I lost my virginity to a tire pump.
Read the directions on the back of the box. If that fails, learn to read.
You need to raise your standards my friend. And by that I mean raise them to the 200-250 pound range.
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Lay there as still as you possibly can. Don't enjoy it or make a sound. That's considered rude!
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
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