She's just a bitch! Whack her in the face with a shovel and have your way with her. You earned it son.
I lost my virginity to a tire pump.
Read the directions on the back of the box. If that fails, learn to read.
You need to raise your standards my friend. And by that I mean raise them to the 200-250 pound range.
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Lay there as still as you possibly can. Don't enjoy it or make a sound. That's considered rude!
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
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