Arnold "Mr. Bidet" Cohen leads a fascinating life. He consorts with stars, as one might expect from a businessman based in Hollywood (Florida); famous pals include Dan Marino, Erik Estrada and "Super Lawyer" Roy Black. He works out of -- or at least sporadically visits -- a profoundly depressing factory. He occasionally struggles with spelling the word "healthy." And he sells an amazing device that's both an anal cleanser and a child's water fountain.
Articles cited on Bidet.com's testimonials page reveal Cohen owns a Cadillac with "MR BIDET" plates, and that he greets people with the phrase "Peace and good bidet." He believes in "weening us off the Charmin," explaining that toilet paper is "only a step better in evolutionary improvement than the pages of the mail order catalogue or the barbaric plantain leaf." But for all his entrepreneurial zeal, Cohen has only managed to sell roughly 200,000 douche bowls in the past five decades, and his site suggests his only customers were young girls and now-dead celebrities.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Play your entire PS1 library from a single SD card. But not your Brady Strategy Guides.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.