Dating vs. Courtship, submitted by God. If you're one of those hippy, free-love Christian-types, you may want to follow this guide to dating, you SLUT!
Limit your time alone to an agreed standard (example: 10 minutes). If you are talking, studying, or reading then more time can be allowed. Do not touch, massage, or kiss the other person anywhere usually covered by clothes. Focus on the time spent together being quality time. Do Bible studies, run, read, TALK, etc. Making God the #1 priority of your personal life and of your relationship when things are good will allow you to trust Him to work all things together for good when things are bad.
Also, remember that when you do get married and finally have sex, in a way, you're having a threesome with Jesus. And his beard really tickles.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.