Xanthe, submitted by Sam. Holy macaroni, you can't do anything on television without some weirdo getting a serious hard-on for you and going well out of his way to Photoshop you into gay porn, pin erotic stories about you, and generally make you the subject of some of The World's Saddest Masturbatory Fantasies. Poor Mitch Pileggi of the X-Files, that bald supporting character, is somehow a sex object to a deranged cult of weirdoes. Good going, Internet!

The truth is out there and it hurts my head.

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

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