"Dear Mr. Day, would you like to hire a Barack Obama impersonator for your next party or special event?" Sure, I guess. *Weeks elapse* Great, he's finally here and -- wait a minute, I didn't order some sort of fucking worm knight. What are you trying to pull, Entertainment 4 U Now?
Whoa, there he is! Amazing resemblance! So much like the real thing that you'll want to check the birth certificate! Ha!
Wait, there's more! "9 ft. Homeboy"? That doesn't sound promising. "Funny lazy beer drinking guy." Hmm. Oh, OK, it's just Homer Simpson. And here's video! Wait, is this guy doing a really good impression or does he have a hidden tape recorder that plays vaguely relevant clips? Either way, the sound bites get strangely threatening toward the end. I'm just going to turn that off and never think about it again. Next up: I have an idea who "Trouble Maker Kid" might be!
What else ... Michael Jackson? Johnny Cash? "9 ft. Alice Cooper," which isn't quite as weird as it sounds, because Alice Cooper once did a movie with a 9-foot cyclops, and, well, i guess it's still weird as fuck. That's the only page without music, too, which kinda sucks: "Welcome to my Nightmare" would have been the perfect soundtrack for this site. Actually, just cue that song here, it'll open in a different window, and it can play while you browse bonus images!
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This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.
Previous Articles
- Plott Palm Trees (Thanks, M4rg4r1ne!)
- False Flesh (Thanks, Y-Hat!) (NWS!)
- Vampire Wear (Thanks, Mr. Lulz!)
- The Young Cons (Get Ethered by Sat High)
- Weedageddon (Thanks, squeakers215!)
Suggested Articles
- Paul; Limitless; The Lincoln Lawyer
- The Devil's Double; 30 Minutes or Less; Final Destination 5; The Help
- Drive; Straw Dogs; I Don't Know How She Does It; Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy; Red State
- Dredd; The Words; [REC]³ Génesis; Robot & Frank; Branded; The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure
- Silver Linings Playbook; Rise of the Guardians; Red Hook Summer; Gambit