Top ten ways to fall off a bridge and die

  • 1. regularly - the old classic
  • 2. Jump off it. Style points
  • 3. Say messed up ironic stuff like Hitler and the n word while falling off it
  • 4. Make a cop shoot you off the edge so its suicide by cop
  • 5. Jump out of a plane and hit the edge of the bridge
  • 6. Be asleep and have people wheel your bed off the edge
  • 7. Successfully bungee jump off the bridge, and then trip over your cord
  • 8. On purpose
  • 9. Kill 1,000,000 people and then yourself
  • 10. G ive 'em the old one two

dendy crew

  • 29. While giving the peace sign
  • 30. While giving two peace signs
  • 31. While giving whatever version of the peace sign that actually means "frick you'
  • 32. Detonating a powerful explosive above you to force your viscera into the water at high speeds
  • 33. Getting your parents' attention to see your cool new trick
  • 34. Trying to keep running midair hoping to run along water's surface
  • 35. Same as above but using a bridge that is not over water
  • 36. Covered Bridge
  • 37. While trying to mythbust some dumb crap about falling off bridges
  • 38. Off decorative small bridges for home self-care oasis (reverts to #99 if you do not die from the short fall but instead die from other means such as oasis drowning)

Chilled Cactus

u could jump off the bridge but not be able to come back down, so u actually keep going higher and higher bc u can only jump up, until u get hit by a plane or something - just an original idea i had

Yad Rock

chum the waters below the bridge so when you jump off you will fall into a shark's mouth and go straightt through the shark's digestive system and come out as shark poop while you're still falling

dendy crew

has anyone said jumping off a bridge, onto another bridge yet?


  • 1 go off the left side
  • 2 go off the right side
  • 3 cant think of any others
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7 wear a hat
  • 8
  • 9
  • 10

Thanks to g0m/no they will not for the themes, and to FYAD for the additional contributions, and to dendy crew for the GIFs; you can enjoy music together with him and have safe fun, on the web!

– David "g0m" Dolan (@g0m)

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

About This Column

The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2023 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful