I'm running out of SPACE for all my THINGS #firstworldproblems

The Xhosa Nostra

burst from my fathers head fully grown and armed with sword and shield #firstworldproblems


no one likes heavy metal about wizards anymore #firstworldproblems


my pyramid head tattoo is fading #firstworldproblems


someone out there is dying for a sip of the water from the gallon im using to shoot my turd out of the building #firstworldplumbing


ahhh fuck I accidentally KO'd Mewtwo now I gotta start all over #firstworldproblems


If you've ever cleared the lint screen you probably touched someone else's pubic hair in the process #firstworldproblems


ugh my top tier university got generic lucky charms today #harvardproblems


some days i think i will never meet a curvey goonette to settle down with and spend the rest of our days watching naruto and smoking weed while collecting guns #fwp


I'm lying in bed and the pillow gets hot and I have to flip the pillow over to the cold side. #firstworldproblems

duck monster

Sparky's gone nuts violating the first law of Robotics! #firstworldproblems

Nazi Zombies!

The recycling machine won't accept this one glass bottle. #firstworldproblems


i got drunk as hell and fucked a fat chick #fwp

Dr. Waffles

Why do I have to pass that homeless veteran everytime I go get a latte, its so awkward. #firstworldproblems

duck monster

Under these trying economic conditions I just can't get the synergies right to integrate our marketing strategies with the new Business 2.0 priorities laid out by our agile focus group! #fwp

Why is Charles from accounts waving a shotgun around the office, frothing at the mouth and shouting about the antichrist! Why is mary bleeding. Oh god! #fwp

With this shotgun I am become the lords vengance. With the words of the prophet ringing down the ages thus do I bring these judgements. #fwp

MRI chalk

i kayokened vegeta and sprained my wrist and now when i crack it little kayokens come shooting out of my fingernails during dinner. i broke the turtle #gokuworldproblems

duck monster

plane hit the building now I'm plunging to my death! #firstworldproblems

– Chris "Petey" Peterson

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