BYOB: an island of chill and magic in a sea of madness. : Guards! SEIZE HIM!
Doppelganger
He's getting away you fools!
Dads Dip Cup
Guard A : "h-he didn't say 'Simon says', right"
Guard B : "nope"
*staring at each other nervously*
Hugh Malone
Yeah, boss, we sees 'im. Whaddaya want us ta do, like, goes after hims or somethin?
Jedrick
Okay, you got this.
"Hey you, STORP!"
Shit, stop, I mean stop!
God dammit.
Mom was right.
Fuuck.
FutonForensic
*guards bring back a juicy honeyed ham* "well, this isn't what I asked for, but I am very satisfied with your performance all the same"
vanisher
Guards, you've lived your life fearing the commitment of a relationship too long. Guards, seize him. Hold him close. Allow yourself to love again.
google THIS
The guards start pelting him chunks of cheese. "No, no, I said SEIZE him!" I yell, shaking my head and wondering offhandedly who scribbled "Larson" on the ceiling.
LawfulWaffle
"I'm sorry, I don't know how to seize him."
>Guards! Grab him!
"I do not see any him to grab."
>Grab the man!
"Who are you speaking to?"
>Guards! He's getting away!
"I'm sorry, I don't know how to he's getting away."
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.
Previous Articles
- How To Cook An Egg!
- Ah yeah, that's the stuff
- Largely Inconsequential Curses
- Minor Acts of Civil Disobedience!
- We Need More Bees