BYOB: an island of chill and magic in a sea of madness. : Guards! SEIZE HIM!
He's getting away you fools!
Dads Dip Cup
Guard A : "h-he didn't say 'Simon says', right"
Guard B : "nope"
*staring at each other nervously*
Yeah, boss, we sees 'im. Whaddaya want us ta do, like, goes after hims or somethin?
Okay, you got this.
"Hey you, STORP!"
Shit, stop, I mean stop!
Mom was right.
*guards bring back a juicy honeyed ham* "well, this isn't what I asked for, but I am very satisfied with your performance all the same"
Guards, you've lived your life fearing the commitment of a relationship too long. Guards, seize him. Hold him close. Allow yourself to love again.
The guards start pelting him chunks of cheese. "No, no, I said SEIZE him!" I yell, shaking my head and wondering offhandedly who scribbled "Larson" on the ceiling.
"I'm sorry, I don't know how to seize him."
>Guards! Grab him!
"I do not see any him to grab."
>Grab the man!
"Who are you speaking to?"
>Guards! He's getting away!
"I'm sorry, I don't know how to he's getting away."
Never before has a piece of consumer hardware so perfectly captured the feeling of hiding a boner while browsing the airbrushed t-shirt stall at a county fair!
I'm pretty sure it's not his birth name. It's hard to imagine any parent hoping their baby's future involves wardogging and all the responsibilities that wardogging entails.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.