EndOfTheWorld posted:

As an alien twelve times as advanced as a mere human, inform her that you are twelve cops.

The human refuses to "do business" with "cops".

Ubitquitin posted:

The green creture has insulted you, retaliate by trying to operate the black object on her since your club is inferior.

The human seems frightened now.

Tycron posted:

Take the woman's purse. You can start a collection!

Purse taken and stored in briefcase. Human has fled.

efnii posted:

Begin to move ahead towards Microsoft!

That did not take long.

Microsoft has beautiful decorative water dispensers.

Icthius posted:

Demand Microsoft give you access to the "internet". Use club on Microsoft if necessary.

Microsoft is unresponsive.

jfff posted:

Enter Microsoft through one of the large portals. Use your weapon to open the portal if necessary.

Entering portal.

Exited portal. This appears to be just like the exterior of the building.

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

About This Column

The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2021 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful