It's July 19th, the season of love - and sex. In an entirely expected turn of events, all the posters on the Something Awful Forums have turned their minds to thoughts of naughty sex stuff and gotten horny from it too, the weirdo little twerps. As such, here is a collection of posts about the sexiest thing there is... eye contact. (This article is extremely NSFW)
Is there anything sexier than eye contact
When our eyeballs touch it gives me a tingle.
as we parted ways she put her finger to her lips, telling me to be quiet, and then she lovingly poked at my eyeballs, sensuously gouging and fondling them and causing my eyes to well up with tears, and only after several minutes did she stop, quietly whispering goodbye.
It was many months later that i got over my heartbreak at losing her, and several years more before i regained my sight.
I didn't even have to look at her, I could feel her eyes all over me... rolling across my back and scratching me behind the ear.
City of Glompton
please make sure to practice safe eye contact every time. daily disposable lenses are cheap, easy to use, and come in a variety of fun colors and styles. you can try inserting them on a peeled grape if you need practice.
GODSPEED JOHN GLENN
"I'll keep my eyes peeled," she purred sexily while shuffling through the drawer for the peeler.
in the old days young girls were forced to wear chastity eye glasses
Tim Cook is on stage, announcing apple's latest product. "Introducing... the iContact!" The audience gasps, the name offends their sensibilities so. Apple gets called in for a dog and pony show of a congressional inquiry led by prudish types over the "gaffe" of their product name being a homophone of a sexual act, but as they say no publicity is bad publicity and sales surge among millenials.
We millenials think we invented eye contact.
Hopefully Anti-seematism is not on the rise. I'll keep my peepers out
In these contentious political times it is more important than ever to work together in a bipartisan way with the people who said I should be thrown out of a helicopter for being an Antifa terrorist.
This Halloween, log off and visit your friends at the local Halloween Superstore.
Better than expected, and absolute garbage
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.