Zack: Still life, with mech arm.
Steve: Reminds me of those architectural paintings you see of old 1950s shopping malls. Only with a robot arm out front.
Zack: Detroit's shopping malls probably look like this in 2014.
Steve: "Nobody'll notice if I just dump this robot arm at the old mall."
Zack: Once they closed the Silver Dome, the Robot Jox just weren't in demand anymore. They got some part time jobs, appearing at the occasional birthday party to launch fists at each other, but it just wasn't enough to make ends meet.
Steve: Old mechwarriors never die, they just dump their farted up Shadowhawk outside the Sears.
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
We review every game from the last 2 months, plus all 21 SNES Classic titles
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.